The Smell of Loneliness

Friday I got into the office and couldn’t escape the subtle smell of cat piss. Thinking it was somehow on my hands I went through about a half bottle of sanitizer. Thinking it was somehow on my collar, I went to the swag closet and changed shirts. Still cat piss. On the brink of losing my fucking mind, I went to the bathroom, took off my jeans and immediately realized they were coated in a dry layer of toxic tee-tee.

I sawz your pants on the dryer so I'z a made u a pee pee. 

The cat got me.  I put the piss pants back on, returned to my desk, and marinated for the remainder of the work day.