Week 18: A Vision in White

Liam’s days are evenly divided between being covered in poop and waiting to be covered in poop. He loves it. He smiles every time he farts. He laughs every time his shit smells like rotten death. Our job as parents seems to be cleaning his butt cheeks, powdering his balls, and then patiently waiting for the sludge from his ass to find its way into the back of his onesie.

My favorite part of the day is this brief moment when he is perfectly clean, happy and still debating whether he'll poop in the towel.

Our Child is 4 Months Old

One third of the way through a year and Liam is still drinking in life like a thirsty man.  A tall, thin, thirsty man.  At his 4 month doctors appointment he measured in at 16 lbs 4 ozs (70th percentile) and  two feet three inches in length (99th percentile).     

Week 17: Liam Experiences Blended Cuisine

I've been in NY since Tuesday and wasn't around to see my child's first attempt at eating baby food.  While the thought of this makes me incredibly sad, Rachel captured his efforts on the YouTubes and the process seems to have gone swimmingly.   

If you turn up the volume you can hear him lovingly cheered into a life of adorable, airplane inspired obesity.    

Week 16: To the Moon and Back

I’m a little late accounting for my weeks but here are pictures from today’s Mother’s Day celebration at Brenner’s.

I'm a very lucky person.  Not only did I marry the most beautiful, loving, caring, woman, but she has given me the most wonderful family.   There's no way I could show her how much she means to me but I'll always keep trying.

Baby Mugging is Happening

The internet is a magical place where lovers of cats, babies, porn and the arts come together to create memes.  One of the latest is baby mugging . . . a planking equivalent for overly proud parents.

Liam was born into a complicated world.

Week 15: Going to the Zoo

This weekend we took Liam to the zoo. There were lions, tigers, elephants, giraffes, bears, birds, lizards, rhinos, and all sorts of other things that he couldn’t have cared less about.  It was fantastic.

Here we are staring at a lovely bunch of lemurs.

Here Liam is observing an eel in its unnatural habitat.

And here he is with his mama and a gorilla.

When we weren't making him look at animals, we stuck his face in picture holes.

And taught him how to save money by screen grabbing family images off the zoo website.

Liam learned a lot this weekend.  Both about animals and his parents.

Liam Gets a Quilt, Smiles

My Aunt Barbara made Liam a quilt. An amazing, incredibly detailed, elephant quilt and we can’t thank her enough. The amount of effort and skill that went into the stitching is unfathomable. The pictures don't do it justice.

Regardless of whether we let him destroy it as he does all things or put it on the wall to observe from a safe distance, this quilt will be the nicest thing Liam owns for many years to come.  We are sincerely grateful to have received such a beautiful gift.

Week 14: Pictures for Tummy Time Enthusiasts

I’m sick and Liam is losing his hair so here are some week old pictures of the young man flopping around, vacillating between happiness and the realization that we placed him on the floor.

LOL

WTF?

JK

Liam is a fickle beast.  

Still Watching, Waiting

When Liam first came home we learned that Kip wasn’t a big fan.

Soon.

Not much has changed in three months.

3 Months of Baby

After a quarter year of life our child's tricks are still limited to laughing, crying, grabbing his feet and growing.  He can rollover when you push him but Rachel says I'm not supposed to push him. 

Liam Giggles, Rachel Loses Her Mind

The title pretty much sums up everything that happens in this thirty second video but here is a step-by-step breakdown for those with no intention of pressing play:

• Rachel sets up a camera 
• Rachel repeatedly hits Liam in the face with his feet
• Liam giggles
• Rachel loses her mind

It's a really good one if you are into this sort of thing.  

Week 12: Liam Goes to the Beach

This weekend we were invited to stay in John Bott’s guest condo at the Palisade Palms in Galveston.  Rachel and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves while Liam made the same indifferent face in every picture. 

He is a hard, beautiful man to impress.

The Two Faces of an 11 Week Old Child

There are about fifty pictures that look like this . . .

For ever one picture that looks like this.

Week 11: A Poor Use of Technology

This week Liam's mom bought him a spaceship of sorts.  The Mamaroo - billed as something that can replicate the motion of car rides and other forms of leisure travel- is a somewhat impractical device designed for fancy baby owners.


You want a chair with a kangaroo setting?  It has that.  You want your chair to be more like an ocean wave?  Press a few buttons and voila.

Liam doesn't seem to care for it much but nobody asks for his opinion on these matters.  He is a baby and doesn't appreciate nice things.

Week 10: Change for the Better

This week Liam developed a wonderful personality. Now instead of crying at every opportunity he smiles with genuine happiness and is perfectly content taking in the world around him. He has become an easier child to love.

He has also gotten huge.  As of today he weighs a formidable 15.5 lbs. and stretches out to over 26 inches.

For purpose of scale, this Easter getup was crafted for a smartly dressed human of the 6 - 9 month variety.

Week 9: Getting Fancy Drunk

drink, donate, repeat

This weekend Liam took his first road trip up to Austin and by thoroughly  inconveniencing Rachel’s cousin, I scored myself a last second invite to the Rare & Fine Wine Auction at the Four Seasons hotel.  Our table included the former CEO of PayPal Europe, a founder of HomeAway, a guy that invented the refillable ink cartridge, the winemaker at Rasa Vineyards and a few other folks that proudly drink for charity. 

Would you like some Peter Michael someone would ask?  Sure.  Cristal? Thanks.  100 Acre?  Why not.  Gaja? Pour it. Velvet Glove?  YOLO.  Something French in a decanter from 1998?  I’ll help myself.

At the end of the night when everyone else was leaving, I stumbled around the ballroom to steal the wines others had left behind.  My haul consisted of two glasses of Opus One, some Harlan, two bottles of Creative Impulse and an unopened bottle of 2003 Dom Perignon.

It was a great evening and I can't thank Adam enough for bringing me along.       

Two Months of Keeping it Real

Blue Steel for the Ladies

Since I live by the highly biased assumption that everyone wants more pictures of Liam, here are two good ones:

Showing off his veal-like musculature

Prepping for shots at the baby doctor

He is beginning to look more and more like a little man.

Week 8: Getting Grabby With It

This week Liam started reaching out and touching things with purpose.  Toys, eye glasses, weapons.  Anything within reach is now fair game for his ductile baby fingers. 

 
His bag of tricks is still very limited.   

Stars of Daytime Television

A few days ago Grandma Karen and her friend Suzie made an appearance on Kathy Lee & Hoda during a powerful segment on spring break travel destinations.

This screen grab captures the extent of their fame.