30 Second Golfing Cowboy

Google Photos takes all of my terrible pictures and videos and compiles them into short movies.  This one combines our trip to the golf course with Liam's first time riding a horse.     

The music is uplifting, the filter is nostalgic and the story seamlessly transitions from two children on a driving range to one child riding his favorite horse.  If you are into kids, horses, or golfers that need work, this is a top notch film.       

A Celebration of Three Years

Liam's third birthday was superhero themed.  The balloons, plates, napkins, cakes and assorted novelty items paid homage to our nation's animated peacekeepers.

It was very cold and very wet.  Kid's still bounced.  Many likely got sick.   

Everyone ate cake. 

People wore children while making capes and masks at the "Build Your Own Cape & Mask Station"

The youths slapped around an overly-well built pinata.   

I made conversation and solid eye contact with this beer. 

And that was about it.  The next day the weather was better and Liam continued to party.

He bounced for about three hours.

Drove around his new car.

And ate dinner at Papasito's where he was presented with a large hat and festive song.

Thank you to everyone that helped him celebrate.  He had an amazing time and is incredibly grateful for all of the cards, gifts and attention.   

Battling a Ditch Monster

This video is about a month old but I figured it deserved a place on the internet.

Two minutes and thirty seconds into this thrill ride of a YouTube, gator wranglers snag a primordial giant, lasso the nose, drag it onto shore and tie it to a tree.   

For those of you without the time or patience for a YouTube, here's a picture of Rachel bidding the beast adieu.    

An Assortment of Nice Pictures

Having completed our Christmas trip to Florida, I can now post some of the pictures taken by Pink Owl Studios.

Nothing says suburban Christmas like a wooden box. 

Merry Christmas from the Swanburgs

Although we took professional pictures a month ago, I'm not allowed to post them online until after Christmas for fear my mother will paper her walls in low resolution enlargements.  So instead I give you the 2015 Christmas card. 

 

If you don't get a one in a few days it is because we don't have your address, we didn't think you'd want one, or your mailman hates you. 

Nature Speaks to the Young

After our nightly trip to the mailbox I reentered the house through the side door as Liam went to the front. When he didn’t appear inside I went to the window and observed him pulling up his pants. When I asked what he was doing he matter-of-factly responded, “I peed a little bit.”

This 30 second video was pulled from the security cameras and has no sound. It is just a young man standing on the walkway, quietly dropping his pajama pants, lifting his shirt, arching his back, and confidently urinating on the lawn before reentering our home.  It is a classic power move.  

Halloween 2015

This year our family consisted of three pirates and a shark. We got dressed up, went trick-or-treating, came home and told the children they were too young to eat candy.

Sharks don't need pants.

Everyone is happy

Arrrrrrrrrrr

Still no pants.

Liam & Jackson, if you are older now and reading this, I want you to know your mother and I stole your candy. We ate all of it after you went to sleep. It was awesome and we love you.

The Last White Onesie

In his first year of life J accomplished everything one could hope to accomplish.  He grew a couple of teeth, learned a few words ("Mama", "Dada", "Yes", "No", "Done"), he claps, points, runs, climbs, and grabs everything within forty inches of the floor. He is an amazing, beautiful, seventeen pound fifteen ounce, little man with predilections for chewing shoes and paper.
       

If you are feeling nostalgic, click the baby by month label and take a trip down memory lane.

11 Months, Four Teeth

During his tenth months of life J expanded his hobbies to include pulling things out of the recycling bin, pressing his face against glass, and running with choking hazards in his mouth.

He’s a feathery 18.8 pounds and a long way from receiving a MacArthur Genius Award.

Jackson's Quilt

On our recent trip to California Aunt Barbara and Uncle Jake met us at the hotel and left us with a quilt for Jackson. The detail and craftsmanship are amazing. The love and care that went into every hand-stitch is unimaginable.

The picture does the masterpiece no justice but we can’t thank you enough. It is beautiful.  It is perfect.

Champions of Fall Fishing

October is a great month in Texas. Not only do we have pumpkins and hay bales, but we have fish.  Big, beautiful fish. 

Here I am with a Redfish 

Here is the Captain with a Ray. 

Here is the Captain with a Redfish.

Here is Liam with a catfish. 

Here is J wondering why I didn’t put clothes on him before fishing / getting the mail. In retrospect it was a reasonable question.

Autumnal Highlights

Having made it to fall we now spend our days doing all things pumpkin related and the kids are excited.

Here we are taking a family picture. J’s “you-people-are-idiots” look is on point.  Liam's isn't far behind.

Here they are stuffing a scarecrow. This actually went pretty well until everyone gave up and decided the maternity clothed tatterdemalion was going to have the facial features of a pig.

Here is the end result. Just a few members of a super-happy family and its scarecrow.

Bees. So Many Bees.

One day these bees show up on the porte cochere. The next day I met an apiarist from the Fort Bend Beekeepers Association. The day after that she is at my house coaxing the swarm into tiny wooden boxes with plans to keep them for herself.

It was all perfectly suburban until the beekeeper invited me outside and encouraged me to remain calm as I got stung in the eye.

The 10 Month Wanderlust

Since Jackson refused to sit down long enough to take a proper portrait, this is how we shall remember him: an upstanding young man perfectly satisfied with the taste of his index finger.

This post would have been up a few days ago but Rachel and I left both children with her parents and traveled off to Jekyll Island, Georgia for the wonderful wedding of Tommy and Stephanie. The three day excursion was the longest I’ve gone without watching an episode of Bubble Guppies in more than two years and it felt really good. 

First Day of School

Today, having reached the prime academic age of 2.7 years old, Liam matriculated at the Southminster School.  For three days a week, he will socialize, sing, nap, pray, eat glue, and do his best not to get overly excited and piss his pants.

 
In preparation for his first day of class Rachel packed him a backpack, a lunch box, a nap mat, water containers, a placemat, a change of clothes, a blanket, love notes, and all of the assorted sundries necessary for one to succeed in the world from the hours of 9am – 2pm. Unfortunately she forgot a chalkboard so rather than holding up a perfectly crafted sign to commemorate the event, she had him hold up a blank sheet of paper on to which I Photoshopped the words above.

Good luck, we love you, and never stop smiling.   

9 Month Old Lives Simple, Happy Life

At nine months old, the toothless young man pictured below spends the majority of his day hiding in tents and getting tackled by his brother. 

The following video captures a heated game of arm flapping and peek-a-boo that ends with his brother declaring an immediate intention to poop.

Unrelated to anything above, this next one is all about Liam landing a child-sized catfish on his new Ironman rod and reel.
 

If you have 43 seconds and a desire to watch the world's greatest, standard definition, vertically filmed fishing video, turn up the volume, press play and enjoy the ride.

8 Month Flyweight Champ

Despite being in the 85th percentile for height and sufficiently aged to eat vegetables, J has only managed to attain a total weight of 16 pounds. His physique is not unlike that of a pixie stick.

And since people love videos of children, here he is pushing a cart while dressed like a football.

7 Month Man About Town

Jackson is now 7 months old. Put him on the ground and he scoots around with purpose and determination. He’s like a young, wild-haired, soldier on a mission to lick shoes. Here he is in picture form. Happy, content, and all around nice guy.

His older brother is now just shy of two and half and does things that qualify him as an actual person. He makes interesting conversation, sing songs, tells jokes, takes swimming lessons, does gymnastics, and uses a toilet with regularity. When I get home from work he tells me he loves me and often makes a point of complimenting my glasses. I feel special until I hear him tell a stick or a receipt that it too is beautiful.

 As shown above, Liam is also a caring brother and a practicing physician. 

6 Months of Blue-Steel

As a fair-skinned boy of six months and 14 pounds, Jackson spends his day rolling on the floor, sitting up, and cruising around the kitchen in a cart.

When not drooling, sleeping, or yelling for attention, he is taking selfies and putting dangerous objects in his mouth.  

His go-to pose reminds me of a confused old man on a windy day.  

5 Months: Happy as a Rolling Clam

Jackson's fifth month of life was similar to his fourth with slightly more athletic tumbling routines.  Notable events included moving into his own room and eating assorted purees.  

When not getting photographed by himself, Jackson drools on his mother's face and hangs out with his brother.

The kid is living the dream.