It has been a long while since my last post. Mostly because the current blogging format is clunky and tedious relative to newfangled technology like Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram. That being said, here are some pictures from June.
Jackson at a Sugar Land Skeeters baseball game. First haircut still pending.
The three of us have been playing a lot of evening golf.
Google Photos takes all of my terrible pictures and videos and compiles them into short movies. This one combines our trip to the golf course with Liam's first time riding a horse.
The music is uplifting, the filter is nostalgic and the story seamlessly transitions from two children on a driving range to one child riding his favorite horse. If you are into kids, horses, or golfers that need work, this is a top notch film.
This video is about a month old but I figured it deserved a place on the internet.
Two minutes and thirty seconds into this thrill ride of a YouTube, gator wranglers snag a primordial giant, lasso the nose, drag it onto shore and tie it to a tree.
For those of you without the time or patience for a YouTube, here's a picture of Rachel bidding the beast adieu.
After our nightly trip to the mailbox I reentered the house through the side door as Liam went to the front. When he didn’t appear inside I went to the window and observed him pulling up his pants. When I asked what he was doing he matter-of-factly responded, “I peed a little bit.”
This 30 second video was pulled from the security cameras and has no sound. It is just a young man standing on the walkway, quietly dropping his pajama pants, lifting his shirt, arching his back, and confidently urinating on the lawn before reentering our home. It is a classic power move.
At nine months old, the toothless young man pictured below spends the majority of his day hiding in tents and getting tackled by his brother.
The following video captures a heated game of arm flapping and peek-a-boo that ends with his brother declaring an immediate intention to poop.
Unrelated to anything above, this next one is all about Liam landing a child-sized catfish on his new Ironman rod and reel.
If you have 43 seconds and a desire to watch the world's greatest, standard
definition, vertically filmed fishing video, turn up the volume, press play and enjoy the ride.
Despite being in the 85th percentile for height and sufficiently aged to eat vegetables, J has only managed to attain a total weight of 16 pounds. His physique is not unlike that of a pixie stick.
And since people love videos of children, here he is pushing a cart while dressed like a football.
Knowing the child to be a tiny but generous treat monger, the cat is remarkably tolerant of his advances.
My favorite part of this thirty second video is the final five seconds. In those brief moments the cat stops what he is doing, stares at the camera, and uses his large round eyes to blame me for all of the ills that have befallen him.
I, who have no sisters or brothers, look with some degree of innocent envy on those who may be said to be born to friends. ~James Boswell
Someday in the relatively near future when the kids are fighting over video games or imaginary friends, I will put this 27 second video on loop and remind them of the time they adored each other.
Liam is 21 months old. As such, you can ask him questions and get straight forward answers. For example, ask him what he would like to name his brother and he will tell you,"Minnie." Ask him why he is hiding behind the chair and he will tell you he's "pooping." The kid tells no lies.
This video highlights his accurate and succinct responses to the existential inquiries posed by Sandra Boynton's book, "Are You a Cow?
On Saturday I took Liam to a Sugar Land Skeeters baseball game with my old next door neighbor, Derek. Liam loved it. Every single pitch, hit or missed, was cheered for with the passion of a new car winner on the Price is Right.
This video captures his overwhelmingly positive reaction to a ground out to third.
Sixteen months after charging headfirst into the delivery room Liam has a mouthful of teeth, three feet of length, and an extensive vocabulary that includes words like "Daddy" and "Ball". The kid is killing it.
Unfortunately his parents are awful and don't take enough pictures so tonight while I was reading, Rachel shot some video from the supine position. What she and I lack in effort, Liam makes up for in magical displays of complete satisfaction.
While other parents are busy coaxing their children down a path of enlightenment and self realization, I'm sitting idly in the driveway watching Liam do my chores.
If you have a minute thirty-four and a desire to know what Mister Car Wash would look like if it employed 16 month old children in pajamas, press play and imagine no more.
For nearly fourteen months Liam's hair has been growing and curling with reckless abandon. Today that changed and he loved it.
If you are into cinematography or just hate doing whatever it is you are supposed to be doing, the first five minutes of this video feature a young man eating grapes, watching Mickey Mouse, and taking in the entire Cool Cuts 4 Kids experience. The last 18 seconds are mostly just Rachel crying.
Here is a twenty-four second assortment of Liam’s party tricks. “Hello” without the L’s. Meowing like a cat. Tongue extensions. Waving goodbye. All firmly established components of his repertoire.
Viewing note: You’ll enjoy the video more if you ignore the awkward pause
and keep your expectations to a minimum. As someone forced to take two days of after school skipping lessons in order to graduate third grade, I certainly do.
Since Rachel can't corral Liam long enough to take a decent ten month picture, I'm left posting this vertically shot, twenty second video that can accurately be described as "our child apathetically admiring the contents of his toy chest and waving."
Put on a tune and Liam transforms into a dance, dance - dance, dance - dance machine. In this case he is rocking out to the melodic, yet to be released, tones of Mr. Nome Wynn.
Turn up the volume, learn some moves, and buy Nome's album whenever it comes out.
Sometimes babies do things on the internet and the viewer thinks, "Dang! That child is amazing!" Other times the viewer clicks play and spends that next 62 seconds watching a chubby eight month old with small hands throw a large ball while sitting in his own excrement. I've replayed this video 15 times and can assure you it is both.
Liam enjoys pacifiers, grunting and short walks along the couch. If you have 42 seconds and a healthy desire to watch that happen, press play and let your heart have what it wants.
Since Liam now refuses to lie on his back for any amount of time, here he is sitting up. Now 7 months old, he is thickly haired and mobile with a fine eye for destruction. This video serves to prove that last point.
Turn up your volume and let the next 12 seconds of your life get weird.
