Correction: It is a Boy

In a previous post titled, “It is Almost Definitely a Girl,” I strongly inferred that baby number two was a girl.  Maybe it was the pink flowers.  In any event, that was wrong. At twenty-one weeks our unborn child was found to have the proud wiener of a gentleman and the silhouette of a hat-less smurf. 

This is his face.

This is his brother.

Welcome to club.

Roxanne & Phil Get Married

Last week our family took a trip to Terranea in celebration of Roxanne and Phil.  Neither Rachel or I took reasonable pictures so this is what we are left with. 

A picture of Liam watching Mickey on the plane.

A picture of Liam watching Mickey on the couch.

A picture of Liam watching Mickey from the table.

A stock photo of the resort.

A stolen image from Mrs. Haines' Facebook page.

In case the pictures don't make it entirely clear, the wedding was an amazing event.  Congratulations and thank you for letting us be part of it. 

Extreme Anglers of Sugar Land

After a quick walk to Pecan Park, Liam set his sites on catching monsters.

Step 1: Strap into a fighting chair.

Step 2: Wait for the hit

 

Step 3: Land giants. 

It is Almost Definitely a Girl

The doctor decided that we're having a girl. She didn’t give us a picture and she hedged by saying she is only 75% confident but that is close enough.  Pink flowers and smiles all around.  

Brown Bear, Brown Bear: A Reading

Sixteen months after charging headfirst into the delivery room Liam has a mouthful of teeth, three feet of length, and an extensive vocabulary that includes words like "Daddy" and "Ball".  The kid is killing it.

Unfortunately his parents are awful and don't take enough pictures so tonight while I was reading, Rachel shot some video from the supine position.  What she and I lack in effort, Liam makes up for in magical displays of complete satisfaction.

Leg Pressing the Womb

After 13 weeks of growth, Baby Swanburg #2 is now about three and a half inches in length.  And while the doctor won't opine on the sex until week 20, the ultrasound tech - a bolder woman with more experience baby sexing - believes the image is that of a boy with a mound of budding penis parts.          

Will Work for Bubbles

While other parents are busy coaxing their children down a path of enlightenment and self realization, I'm sitting idly in the driveway watching Liam do my chores.

If you have a minute thirty-four and a desire to know what Mister Car Wash would look like if it employed 16 month old children in pajamas, press play and imagine no more.  

Enjoys Easter, Distrusts the Magical Rabbit

The events started on Saturday at Westside Tennis.

He lost and found many eggs. (video)

 

He received many prizes.

On Sunday he made his way to Sweetwater for brunch.

He posed for many pictures.

He grabbed a young girl's chest.

He stuck out his tongue.

He took a picture with his parents.  All in all it was a fine way to celebrate Jesus. 

Life Lessons at Fifteen Months

As the proud owner of five teeth, Liam spends his days marching around the house, breaking things, and identifying body parts at the request of his mother. Ears, teeth, hair, belly, feet and hands are all firmly in his repertoire. Nose is tricky. Ask him to point to his nose and he shakes his head.

“Incorrect,” I’ll explain. “That is no . . . N – O. I’m asking about your nose . . . N-O-S-E.”

All he hears is the word correct and he begins to clap. This inevitably leads to an alternate approach.

“Is this my nose?” I’ll ask. This time remaining very still and directing his attention to my proud fatherly beak. “No” he continues, shaking his head pleased that he hasn’t fallen for my tricks. We go back and forth a few times before he walks away, realizing that moving on is more important than understanding.

There are a lot of teaching moments that go like this and I try not to get discouraged. Every time he mistakes a tractor for an ambulance or moos like a cow when asked to quack like a duck, I tell myself that he is making jokes.  Dry, bold, learning jokes.  

First Trip to the ER

Most of the time things work out for Liam.  Thanks to child-proofing, 24/7 monitoring, and a sky-full of lucky stars, the electric chords don't electrocute, the choking hazards don't choke and the breakables don't break.

Therefore this morning, when he approached the misplaced 60 pound cabinet with a glass door, I'm sure he did so with a mix of confidence and confusion:

"Good morning, Beautiful! Why are you here? You're normally in the bathroom. Did they put you in the bedroom because they are renovating the bath or did they want me to climb you? I bet they wanted me to climb you. Climbing. Climb away."

Shortly thereafter the cabinet fell on him and the glass door shattered on his face

The next few hours were a little crazy but we drove him to the ER, a doctor removed the glass, and Liam smiled and laughed like a miniature psychopath. 

In the end he looks like this and lives to climb another day.

Sharing the Word Count

This blog started out in June of 2012 with Liam's first portrait.  It was a grainy profile resembling a cross between a duck and a goldfish.  Twenty one months later, having progressed into a world of toothy grins and action shots, we are back to posting grainy portraits.  Except this isn't Liam. 

Meet Baby Swanburg #2: 8 weeks in the making, shrimp like, and expected to arrive around the 5th of November.  Welcome to the party.  

A Visit From the Goon Squad

This weekend my parents were in town to see Liam and the three day stay was more than enough time for both to return to their pedagogical roots. My father taught Liam to grab beers from the fridge, blow spit bubbles and direct crazy comments towards the television. My mother taught everything to anyone that would listen.
   

It was a return to the halcyon days of 1985 and this is the only picture I came away with.  

Taming the Wild Hairs

For nearly fourteen months Liam's hair has been growing and curling with reckless abandon.  Today that changed and he loved it. 

If you are into cinematography or just hate doing whatever it is you are supposed to be doing, the first five minutes of this video feature a young man eating grapes, watching Mickey Mouse, and taking in the entire Cool Cuts 4 Kids experience.  The last 18 seconds are mostly just Rachel crying.

For everyone else there are pictures:

Nerves

Interest

Enjoyment

Success

Thirteen Months of Living the Dream

Since this blog has been a little light on posts, here are two pictures of Liam.  This first shows him music-making in his favorite shirt.     

The second shows him pooping in his favorite tent.

It is a simple but fulfilling existence.   

Talented For a Child That Still Hasn't Figured Out How to Clap

Here is a twenty-four second assortment of Liam’s party tricks. “Hello” without the L’s. Meowing like a cat. Tongue extensions. Waving goodbye. All firmly established components of his repertoire.

Viewing note: You’ll enjoy the video more if you ignore the awkward pause and keep your expectations to a minimum.  As someone forced to take two days of after school skipping lessons in order to graduate third grade, I certainly do.   

The Art of Baby Wrestling

Since turning one Liam has been diagnosed with an egg allergy and if you try to change his shitty diaper he rolls around like a trapped, thirty-two inch crocodile.

Rule #1: Don't let him escape.

Sometimes I help Rachel powder his butt, other times I just sit in the rocking chair taking pictures.

Liam’s First Gift to Baylor

Liam received a lot of great gifts for his birthday.  The bounty included baseball gloves, books, outfits, football jerseys, Sesame Street dolls, train sets, electronics, a rocking horse, musical instruments, gigantic stuffed animals, cash and everything else a child could want.

And then there was this: 

The soon-to-be Uncle Phil bought Liam a brick at Baylor’s new stadium and it is perfect.

 

Rachel and I have a million reasons to love Baylor.  It is where we met our friends, it is where we got our degrees and it is where we fell in love.  Now Liam has his own connection to the school and with any luck he’ll be excited to find his brick every time we go to a game.

Celebrating Life

After I vetoed Rachel’s ideas requiring that I dress up like Elmo or establish a petting zoo in the front yard, Liam ended up entertaining his guests with a ball pit, toys, fancy sippy cups, various desserts, Chick-fil-a nuggets, goody bags, decorations via Etsy, and booze.  Lots of booze.

Rather than posting pictures of adults drinking around children, here are some pictures of the pre-party ambiance:

 And here are pictures of Liam enjoying cake at various points throughout the weekend:

Cake the night of his actual birthday

Cake before the birthday party

Cake during the birthday party.

It was a wonderful event and we cannot thank everyone enough for attending -whether in person or in spirit. Your love and support has made the first year of Liam's life an unmitigated success. 

The Big One

At the end of every month Rachel and I have strapped Liam into a white onesie, taken a few pictures, Photoshoped on the appropriate number and posted it to this blog under the label, "baby by month." This picture is the final installment.  This is his last white onesie.

Click here and see the consolidated view of his transformation from an immobile infant into a large, running, wildly destructive toddler.

Liam's First Haircut

Today my wife sent me three images via text celebrating the fact she had cut Liam's hair. 

The first message featured  a bag of trimmings. 

The second highlighted the classic lesbian stylings of my fourth grade gym teacher. 

And the third paid homage to a youthful John McCain.  

With any luck Liam's future haircuts will be performed by a licensed professional bold enough to trim around the ears.